Saturday, November 15, 2008

Heaven's Peace

Matt. 22
[28] Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.[29] Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.[30] For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

At some point, I began to wonder how heaven could be missing the attachments we have in this life, particularly spousal relationships and parental bonds. So much of our time and energy revolve around caring for family. My curiosity most likely began after falling in love with my wonderful husband. If you have a "match made in heaven” then you know very well how horrifying is the thought of losing your significant other. He is my best friend and ideal companion. I simply can’t imagine life without him!

Then came along our precious son, who introduced me to possibly the most powerful bond known to man (not counting God). During those first few weeks when asked the standard questions about our new role as parents, I often answered that the single most surprising aspect was the intensity of my love for our baby. A love so powerful and sudden it was terrifying. I had read and prepared myself for the worst of postpartum depression. I knew that I might not even like my baby and not to worry; the love would come in time. Instead, I was astonished to feel a love so overwhelming that I became fearful and paranoid something might happen to him. And I was certain if it did, I wouldn’t be able to survive it.

All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother, and it’s been every bit as wonderful as I expected and more. I have thrown myself into being a homemaker, but with that role has been a tremendous weight of responsibility. From morning until night a mother’s mind is constantly busy. Meal planning, housekeeping, celebrations, hobbies, and in our case, homeschooling. Concerns about my soul and others. Concerns about our son’s future. Concerns about my country and the world. My obligations as a wife, sister, daughter, aunt, granddaughter, friend, neighbor. And at some point in my life, concerns about my health, the greatest trial I have faced.

Last November I nearly died. But for several years up to that point, my health was slowly declining. And as it did so, my spiritual state was rising. Though I grew incredibly close to my Savior, there were very hard times. One evening I was lying in bed feeling discouraged and longing for relief from the troubles of this world. Quite suddenly an amazing feeling came over me like nothing I have ever experienced. It was as if every earthly care was completely gone, every bit of pain…replaced by a peace so incredibly complete and sweet, so wonderful I can’t do it justice with words. The feeling was so strong that I truly thought I was dying and did not mind the idea at all. I’m not sure how long it lasted, but it was an experience I will never forget.
If that was a taste of heaven, a taste of what is to come – and I believe it was – then, death truly is something to look forward to. One of my prayers from childhood has been that I will be ready when it’s my time to go. I believe this experience was part of God’s answer to that prayer.

Something else, though, is that I finally understand with satisfaction why earthly attachments are meaningless in heaven. Enveloped by that peace, I no longer cared about anything here. It all seemed so unimportant in comparison, a peace that surpassed all understanding. God didn’t have to solve this mystery for me, and perhaps that wasn’t even His main purpose in giving me that gift. But it is nice to have one of my questions answered and a privilege to be alive and share the hope of heaven with others.

It's worth it, guys! It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it!!

13 comments:

Pam said...

I am so glad that you are feeling better now.
I know that Heaven will be worth the suffering and worries that we have now. Thanks for sharing such a powerful post.

Greg said...

That was very touching, Sweetheart! But if it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to enjoy your company as much as I can! :)

Toots said...

Thank you, Farrah. What beautiful truth.

Jan Lyn said...

Thank you for sharing and being so transparent, Farrah. Yours is a powerful testimony and I am trying to trust much like you are that our future's are in God's hands, that all will be more than OK and that our loved ones will be cared for. It's not easy living this every day, but it beats living life without faith.

Bless you and your family!

Jeff said...

Farrah,

Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog site!

Quite suddenly an amazing feeling came over me like nothing I have ever experienced. It was as if every earthly care was completely gone, every bit of pain…replaced by a peace so incredibly complete and sweet, so wonderful I can’t do it justice with words.

I can understand the "can't do it justice with words" part. On my own blog site a while back, I wrote an article entitled "Is God Real," in which I described a couple of spiritual highpoints in my life where I was filled with the Holy Spirit and experienced unearthly things, and one Atheist said that I must either not be human, or else I must be completely inept at English grammar, or else I must be mentally unstable. He was looking for a naturalistic explanation, and was incapable of understanding spiritual experiences, because he had nothing to relate it to, and of course didn't even believe in the spiritual realm or in spiritual things. However, you do a good job at describing your experience, and I know that such things are not easy to try to put into words.

Something else, though, is that I finally understand with satisfaction why earthly attachments are meaningless in heaven. Enveloped by that peace, I no longer cared about anything here. It all seemed so unimportant in comparison, a peace that surpassed all understanding.

Very nice. Excellent answer to the question you raised at the beginning of your article. It also shows an excellent glimpse of Heaven in your words.

It's worth it, guys! It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it!!

Very excellent ending. Awesome way to sum it all up.

Nitewrit said...

Farrah,

Thank you for sharing this.

Larry E.

Jan Lyn said...

Hi Again Farrah,

Thanks for stopping by my blog as well!

I have to tell you that you have lifted my spirits a great deal this week AND, I also forgot to tell you or maybe should tell your Greg that I am impressed he reads your blog and you are a major sweet couple. So cute!

gracy said...

Amen. Thank you, Farrah. What sweet promises!!!

Tamela's Place said...

Thank you Farrah,


What an encouraging post! I can't say that i have ever feared dying, but i have often wondered about the stuff that might come before death, like pain and or suffering of some sort, i guess that part still concerns me.

I suppose i am somewhat selfish, because i tell my husband that if He goes before me he is just going to have to tell Jesus that he needs to come back and for Jesus to take me first or take us together because i can't bear to even think about being left here without him. So i have made it very clear to the Lord about all this and my plans LOL!

All joking aside, even in my selfishness i will be saying not my will but yours be done, because your will is better than any plans that i might have.

Thanks for the lifter! Tamela :)

Pam said...

I have an award for you, my sweet blogging buddy!

Marsha said...

Your blog is beautiful! I really enjoyed reading this post. How comforting!
I've been sick for 8 days now and wonder if I will ever regain my strength??
Thankful for the time to read and blog on the laptop though as I am able.

Lynn said...

This is a neat post. I have never been through anything like what you're describing, but imagine that peacefulness that came over you is exactly that feeling of being in God's presence. Everything else would pale by comparison. Thanks for sharing.

Lisa said...

Earthly attachments...are not worth a plug nickle in Heaven!
How I yearn to simplify my home and life...

I'm glad you are better!

God is gracious! Praise Him!