Anxiety and Viruses

I've had a rough couple of weeks health wise.  I was having trouble managing stress, and it culminated in an anxiety attack.  This was the second big one I've had, and both times my breathing was affected for a week or two afterwards.  This time the breathing problems really got to me, which added to my stress.  I woke up Sunday morning with half my bottom lip full of blisters.  I'm not the type to run to the doctor, but I decided to go.  They tested me and found out the blisters were from a common virus that causes cold sores.  It lies dormant most of the time but can be triggered by stress.  I could barely eat or talk for a couple of days, and even drinking was difficult due to the swelling.  It can take two weeks to completely go away.  They gave me horse pills that are an anti-viral which should hopefully help the healing process along.  I can't swallow anything remotely big.  Greg has to cut them into about 10 pieces, and I swallow the pieces one at a time.  This happens twice each day.  Add my other daily pills (main one being FIVE vit. D capsules each day - have to take the 1000 ones because anything bigger gets stuck in my throat), and that's a lot of annoyance.  At least it's forced me to drink more water, with all the guzzling to get all the pills down.  I've stayed home, because I look a sight!  Plus, it's contagious.  Plus, my breathing made me not want to do anything.  Praise God, my lip is definitely better today and my breathing is slightly improved.  I would appreciate prayers that my breathing returns to normal soon and for me to handle stress better.  Both of these things are a big deal right now.

The first time I got an anxiety attack, it was over something big.  Mostly though, I get stressed easily over small things.  I've always been that way to a certain extent, but I'm starting to realize I may need to take it more seriously.  Some of the trouble is my illness.  My body doesn't handle stress as well as someone with normal health, and I have worked hard over the years to address that by limiting my commitments and scheduling down time.  Some is probably due to my OCD/perfectionistic tendencies.  I have prayed lots but perhaps not as much as I should.  Sometimes I think my personality would need to change completely.  I'm the sort of person who moves a lot when I'm standing, I get up and down and pace while on the phone, and I can be very eccentric.  Is that a nervous problem or just my personality?  I think for me to be completely calm all the time would mean I'd have to become a different person.  Just to clarify, not a more godly person.  I don't think this is a sin issue.  I'm talking a different kind of person.  I like to be creative and occasionally obnoxious.  It's how I express myself.  I honestly don't know how I could trust the Lord more than I do, and I certainly don't have any sinful tendencies holding me back.  Yet, something needs to give.  I'm sure the Lord doesn't want me suffering from anxiety.

The doctor recommended anti-anxiety medication or counseling.  I don't like the idea of medication, and I can't help being offended by the idea of counseling.  This isn't depression.  I'm an upbeat person.  Maybe too upbeat but certainly not depressed.  The Lord is my healer and councilor.  At any rate, something needs to change.  I'll have to pray about what that needs to be!